Back To My Roots

If the ‘writing’ and posting to this blog does indeed have roots, I am not aware of them. Random doesn’t happen with forethought.

I can say, roots be damned, that I do, as the mood allows, like to string a few words together. Some call it writing. That’s a classification more sophisticated than what happens here. I prefer to call it cuneiform or scrawling.

Travel is a topic as good as any to scrawl about.

As a strange habit, I shoot poorly composed photos of paths leading off into the distance. It is either inspirational or tedious. You can find a sampling of this nonsense on The World page.

I posted a few new ones to the page and included them below.

Fort Santiago, Manila, Philippines
Fort Santiago, Manila, Philippines
Harvard University, Boston
Harvard University, Boston
Capitol Crescent Trail, Maryland
Capitol Crescent Trail, Maryland
Mt. St. Helens, Washington
Mt. St. Helens, Washington
Billy Goat Trail, Maryland
Billy Goat Trail, Maryland
Harper's Ferry and Shenandoah River, West Virginia
Harper’s Ferry and Shenandoah River, West Virginia
Freedom Plaza, Washington, D.C.
Freedom Plaza, Washington, D.C.
Tidal Basin, Washington, D.C.
Tidal Basin, Washington, D.C.
Upper Dark Hollow Trail, Virginia
Upper Dark Hollow Trail, Virginia
Tourist Information Center, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Tourist Information Center, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Quad biking, Kenya
Quad biking, Kenya

 

Get back to your roots.

The Best Non-Required Christmas Letter 2012 (Robust Edition)

Happy Holidays. I hope you had a (insert hyperbole here) year. Wait, you say, isn’t the time to give season greetings past?!?! It’s well into 2013 and we have better things to do.

To that I say, this letter has been strategically timed to arrive at the exact moment you least want it but most need it. This has nothing to do with procrastination nor laziness on my part. All part of the plan. Enough pleasantries.

Seven years ago (2006) the first Christmas letter snuck under your tree (mistletoe?) and regaled all that would listen with a smug, self-centered yet snarky update of my year. The holiday greeting card equivalent of fruitcake. No one wants it, but everyone keeps looking at it wondering who will be the first to take a bite. The subsequent four years didn’t get any better. If anything, I baked a fruitier cake with each passing year. Last year I took a sabbatical (approved word for lazy). This year will be different. It has to be. Fruitcake goes bad eventually.

Let’s journey together and reminisce about (a robust) 2012. I alphabetized this letter so it would be easier to skip ahead to letter Z and get back to your regularly scheduled program. I added some color to make the blurbs more festive. They need it.

Arch – As in the Gateway Arch in St. Louis. I attended an extravagant wedding in Biehle, Missouri (1-1/2 hours south of St. Louis). The wedding combined both Catholic and Hindu traditions into one unique (but long!) ceremony. Then a bottomless bar and food at the family ‘house’ (with two lakes, woods, a tree fort, a tractor museum, a train for kids and a ‘gazebo’ – read: small house overlooking a lake) made for a fine reception. Oh and I did go to the top of the Gateway Arch on the way to the airport.

Bangkok – I keep finding myself here. What to do? Ascend to the rooftop bars and restaurants (Sirocco, Above 11, Long Table and more) for breathtaking city views, food and drink? Okay. Cruise on the Chao Praya river, gliding past Wat Arun, the Grand Palace and more temples while feasting buffet-style, snapping blurry photos and dancing? Check. A foot massage? Why not. Eat the delicious and spicy food – whether on the street or in a restaurant? Yeah. Hit the Chatuchak Weekend Market and get lost among the 5,000 stalls and shops? Sure. Try a VIP movie experience of Argo? You’re welcome, Ben. Hoist pints of Singha and Chang beers? Done. And done.

Cabins – A cabin needs a name. I gravitated to an assortment of cabins this year. Whether it overlooked the Columbia River Gorge (The Cabin in Mosier), or nestled two miles into the woods of Northern Virginia (Myron Glaser Cabin), or was replete with Christmas tree and decorations only minutes drive from Washington’s White Pass Ski Resort (Mountain Mist Chalet), or kept the Northern California summer nights and frogs at bay (Manzanita Cabin), I was there.

DerechoLike a low blow to the groin, the storm known as a derecho hit Washington, D.C. in June with furious determination. Not even Hurricane Sandy matched its destructive force (I speak only of DC). Crazy winds. Downed trees. Crushed cars. Flying trash cans. That type of day.

Extra Innings – For those in the know (by now…maybe you?), I am questing to see a baseball game in every Major League ballpark. Marlins Park (Miami), Citi Field (New York), O.2 Coliseum (Oakland) and AT&T Park (San Francisco) all claimed my cash and attention this year. Only nine stadiums left.

FireflyDover, Delaware gave us the first annual Firefly Music Festival in July. With headliners like Jack White, The Killers and The Black Keys, this had a fierce cacophony of rock and roll that a seven nation army couldn’t hold back. Three days of bands, beer, food and camping. And after a short respite to the beach to re-charge, more bands and beer.

Goals (Random) – I was bored one day. Hard to imagine, but so. I concocted a plan to do a new ‘random goal’ each month. I went 5-2 (success/failure) in the seven months I did it. Then the ideas dried up and I woke as if from a dream…with a tattoo of a wiener dog on my ankle. Or was that just a real wiener dog nosing my ankle to go outside and stop messing around? See the Goals.

Halloumi – Enter any restaurant in Cyprus and chances are you will find fried cheese (halloumi) on the menu. Order it. That’s the best advice I can give you. Besides gorging on cheese, I explored the beaches of Larnaca and Limassol and wandered the city of Nicosia with the help of a local. I avoided crossing into the Turkish side of the country because I feared there would be no halloumi.

Infiltrator – Let’s call my sister an ‘infiltrator’ after visiting DC for the first time in May. I made her ride the Capital Bikeshare bikes all over the city and tag along to two softball games. We visited many places and other things happened. It ended well. She survived to tell the tale. I hope.

Jazz (All That)A weekend in New York should include a baseball game, a jazz concert, more live music, bar crawling, and a wander about to see such sights as the Empire State Building, the new 9/11 Memorial at Ground Zero, and Central Park. Also, don’t forget to meander the warrens and streets of Chelsea, Brooklyn, SoHo and Midtown. Eat as much as possible. Maybe some Italian? Or Korean? Or Thai? Doesn’t matter, just eat it and enjoy.

Kayaking – For one week I learned how to white water kayak (in the middle of nowhere Northern California). Our river time was on the Klamath River, but the Otter Bar Lodge Kayak School rested next to the Salmon River. After a long day on the river, there was time to snorkel with the grown and fingerling salmon, cliff jump from dizzying heights, eat amazing food, imbibe homemade margaritas and play Settlers of Catan. Then back on the water. No time to rest.

ListsEvery year I make a bunch of lists to commemorate my best in movies, books, sports and music. They are popular with the ‘me’ set. You can read them too, but it’s better if you just get this letter over and do something fun.

Miami – I hopped down to South Beach in Miami for a weekend. Mission: See a baseball game in the Marlins’ new stadium, eat lots of Cuban food and generally make a nuisance of myself. What happens in South Beach, stays in Vegas…oops, that’s not right…let’s just say, I succeeded.

No more! – Is this never-ending Christmas letter finished yet? Nope. Twelve letters in the alphabet to go…brace yourself.

One Day HikeA minor hike done in a single day. Okay, it’s actually 50 kilometers (or 31.1 miles), but who’s complaining? I finished this mostly flat trek in just over 9 hours. Intact. Yet not without pain.

Paris (Gay) – Cue traditional French music…opening scene: an American (me) climbing the Eiffel Tower. Wandering aimlessly in the maze that is the Louvre. Walking about the city, capturing photographic evidence of the Arc de Triomphe and other famous landmarks. Floating gracefully down the Seine river (boat included).  Nibbling $4 macaroons and chewing cheese and butter baguettes. Taking in the bustle and toy sailboats of the Jardin de Luxembourg. Closing scene: a bewildered American in a wine and cheese infused stupor, slumped at a sidewalk café, never to leave. Music fades…

Quad biking – My work has a hard time avoiding the Lukenya Getaway for meetings. It’s secluded, and far outside of the city limits of Nairobi, Kenya. There are actual wild animals roaming around – giraffes, wildebeests, zebras, gazelles and more – that you can see as you jog or walk down the dirt roads nearby. One day we took some quad bikes for a spin in the bush. At least one person (not me) crashed into a tree…

Running – My favorite use of running is to escape a mother bear protecting its cub. My second favorite use is to not run at all. Sadly, I didn’t get to use it for either purpose this year. I did run the Semper Fi 5K and a number of other 5Ks on my own. I also tried running more in general (to my chagrin), often running along the National Mall to the Lincoln Memorial. The beauty of the Mall at night makes it hard to complain. But I will.

Sommelier – I had quite a time gallivanting about for tastings and tours at wineries in California, Washington and Oregon. I toured Napa Valley for the first time, hitting such wineries as: Rutherford Ranch Winery, V. Sattui Winery, Franciscan Oakville Estates and Andretti Winery before hopping on the ferry back to San Francisco. I also hit a few wineries in Washington state near Leavenworth: Wedge Mountain Winery, Cascadia Winery and Icicle Ridge Winery.

Tea (Improper) – In England, I improperly raised my pinky finger while drinking a spot of tea. The Brits gave me a wide berth. Yet when I wasn’t drinking tea, I jaunted about London just before the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee (celebrating 60 years as the Queen!) started. I also spent some time in the (robust) towns of Northampton and Woking, enjoying such places as the Racecourse and the War of the Worlds statue.

UDub (Alumni) – I played three sports with our University of Washington Alumni – DC chapter in the Capital Alumni Network (CAN). Flag football, volleyball and softball. Our flag football team did well, advancing to the third round of the playoffs. Our volleyball team did okay but with our softball team – let’s just say, we had fun. I was also voted to be the ‘Sports Chair’ on our DC Alumni chapter board. We also played volleyball during spring, summer AND fall with the Metro Sports League. I did not receive any varsity letters…sniff.

Victory (Sweet) – The Seattle Seahawks had quite a year. For the first time since I moved to Washington, D.C., I was able to attend more than one game. I saw three games at CenturyLink Field in Seattle. They won all three, including a terrific beat down of the eventual Super Bowl losers, San Francisco 49ers (42-13). I left hoarse, while riding my high horse. 

Whirlyball – A weekend trip to Toronto to honor the dearly departed from bachelorhood (also known as a stag party in Canadian parlance) saw four rousing rounds of whirlyball (like lacrosse but on bumper cars – look it up), Japanese izakaya and a jovial amount of adult beverages. Back to whirlyball…my team won all four rounds!

XenophileI travel a fair bit (if you skipped to end of this letter, just take my word for it) and mostly I enjoy it. Here are some stats from 2012: Countries visited = 6. US states visited = 9. Flight segments =35. Airports =21. Time away from home – 2-1/2 months (roughly). Cavity searches = 0.

YosemiteCar camping is all the rage. Just don’t do it in Yosemite National Park. The Park Rangers will find you. And shine the bright light of reality in your face. And then boot you from the park. After spending a night in my car (outside the park), I persisted the next morning and hiked the High Sierra Loop Trail, where I took magical photos of Vernal and Nevada falls, as well as Half Dome, Liberty Cap and anything else that got in my way. Magical in the robustest sense of the word. 

ZymurgyI don’t always drink beer, but when I do I prefer…wait a second…I do always drink beer! Except when at a winery. Or in Paris. This year I enjoyed many types of beer at many places. For example, at the first Living Social Beer Fest in DC. All you can drink in three hours from twenty-five breweries (each offering 2-3 selections). I also visited the following breweries: Deschutes (OR), Lost Coast (CA), 21st Amendment (CA), Triple Rock (CA) and Magnolia (CA). Burp.

End transmission.

Bonus: My Favorite Blog Posts of the Year (so you can re-read them, of course)

  1. Paris in Photos and Other Moveable Feasts 
  2. Yosemite National Park Survival Tips
  3. Keep on Food Truckin’
  4. 25 for May: Firsts (In Hindsight)
  5. D.C., Which Photographs Well
  6. Reflections, and Other Reasons Mom Washed Out My Mouth With Soap

2013-03-05_1656

25 For May: Firsts (In Hindsight)

Since I had a bit of travel in May, I thought that the best ‘random goal’ would be to do a bunch of ‘first’ time activities. New things, if you will. Plus I was already doing them anyway…

My random goal in May was to do 25 firsts. I did that and more. Let’s use some hindsight to reflect. Then, let’s poke a stick at some photos.

Results

First layover in three new airports: Zürich, Brussels and Bujumbra (Burundi).

First two on two basketball game in over 20 years. We lost…

First 4×4 (quad bike) excursion in Kenya.

First glass of Cognac (on the rocks) and cigar, together.

First up close and personal time with a praying mantis.

First meander through Espanola Way in South Beach, Miami.

First baseball game in Marlins Park in Miami.

First nosh at five untried food trucks.

First time my sister visited Washington, D.C.

First time attending the Trucko de Mayo at RFK Stadium (a 30+ food truck extravaganza!).

First detour through the George Mason Memorial.

First stagger through the Half Street Fairgrounds (outside Nationals Park).

First hit, first RBI and first run scored for my UW Alumni softball team.

First drive of a Car2go Smart car through D.C.

First undefeated season playing outdoor recreational volleyball. 7-0 in regular season matches (17-4 in games). Sadly we lost in the finals.

First unlocking of a city badge on Foursquare. The ‘La Ville-Lumiere (Paris)’ badge.

First ascent to the second floor of the Eiffel Tower via stairs. That’s only about 380 feet or 600 + stairs. And first time to the top.

First wander through the Musée du Louvre, Paris.

First boat cruise on the Seine River, Paris.

First Eurostar train trip from Paris to London. Hello Chunnel!

Marlins Park
Marlins Park
Praying Mantis
Praying Mantis
2nd Floor of the Eiffel Tower
2nd Floor of the Eiffel Tower
The Louvre
The Louvre
Paris Badge
Paris Badge
Car2go Smart Car
Car2go Smart Car
4x4 Quad Biking
4×4 Quad Biking

The Joy of Food Porn

Whenever I eat while traveling (a daily occurrence), I feel like I should take photos of the various foods I try.

Why? Well, when I see travel and foodie shows that flaunt their delicious and mouth-watering images like its some kind of food porn, I want to join them.

Yet, despite this, I am always somewhat embarrassed to take the actual photos. I look around to make sure no one is watching (and judging me). Some people are shameless and snap those tasty shots without thought. But not me, I always try for sly and avoid eye contact with anyone in my vicinity at all cost. The flash always gives me away.

Here is a sampling of some of my poor quality, badly lit, guiltily taken food photos over the years that represent categories of sustenance that will surely cause a heart attack. I also threw in some beer and wine shots. Because I can.

I am not responsible for any salivating or queasiness that may result.

Squid ink pasta in Venice
A lunch repast in rural Mali
Mofongo in the Dominican Republic
Okonomiyaki in Japan
Sliders in Washington, D.C.
Cocoa beans in Zanzibar
El Presidente in Dominican Republic
Fish amok in Cambodia
Enjoying a ballgame
Camping with a freeze dried ice cream sandwich
In N Out burger and fries in LA - animal style!
Lots of wine in South Africa
Chicken mole in Mexico
A Jucy Lucy in Minneapolis
Red wine in Northern Virginia
Fuju in Tokyo
Frites drowning in mayonnaise in Amsterdam
Zingerman sandwich in Ann Arbor
Kobe beef in Kobe
Cheese and beer in Seattle
Nasty fruit in Cyprus
Wedding cake in Washington, D.C. (yes, it is)
Ostrich meat balls in Kenya
Bandeja paisa in Colombia
Goose Island beer in Chicago

Burp.

Don’t Mess With My Tu-Tu

(Originally posted September 30, 2008)

There is not much that can redeem those beach resorts that ooze vacationing Brits, endless buffets, and crappy wireless connections, except for that at any moment, should you so choose, you can escape to the warm waters of the Indian Ocean. Even so, that stretch of shallow, seaweed-choked ocean might not provide much solace from the tedium, especially when the pesky sea fleas start biting and black, spiky sea urchins blissfully embed their quills deep into the soles of your feet.

The Sun N’ Sand Beach Resort near Mombasa, Kenya has everything a fat, lazy tourist could want. You want cigarettes? You have to buy them. You want a massage? You have to pay for it. You want to make a phone call? You have to pay for these. Otherwise everything is included. You want 5 star service? They are happy to report, yes indeed, they live up to their 5 star reputation. Sigh… I only had to hear about it every two seconds on an endless loop from two out of five available TV channels. Soccer, bad Kenyan soap operas, and the BBC rounded out the other viewing options. The one good thing the Sun N’ Sand did offer was free use of kayaks and wind surfing boards, however, the window of time to use them was contingent on the high tide, which always occurred while we were working or after the boathouse staff went home.

Spending two weeks in a resort while you’re working has its drawbacks. Mostly the work. Laying about and soaking in the pools (four by my count) can help a bit, but it wouldn’t be any vacation of choice. The nightly entertainment often scraped the bottom of the barrel but nights of watching Masai warriors jumping high and contortionists squeezing through a small tube did distract momentarily. The DJ had a daily affinity for “Jambo Bwana” in Swahili and “Don’t Mess With My Tu-Tu”, both of which are permanently lodged in my head, much to the chagrin of my head.

On a side note, digging sea urchin spines out of your feet is a rewarding, joyful time. One of the best activities at the Sun N’ Sand was to walk out to the reef during low tide. It’s about a 30 minute walk in thigh deep water but the diversity of sea life (sea urchins) is unparalleled (unparalleled by the number of spines in one’s foot). Of course, bring your good flip-flops (me = barefoot) or you’ll enjoy the business end of many a sea urchin.

The Best Non-Required Christmas Letter 2008 (Clean Version)

Once again, I’ve found you. There is no escape from this annually joyous attempt at season greetings. Since you likely have no other distractions; give me your full attention and let’s get down to the business at hand…to put the year that was, 2008, into a little perspective.

I know that the number of Christmas letters you’ve already dismissively wadded up and chucked into the wastebasket, along with all that fruitcake and eggnog you’ve gorged yourself on, will affect your reading of this; so I’ve decided to make it easy for you. First, it’s not a letter at all, it’s an email. No extra energy needs to be expended to get rid of it. Second, it has virtually nothing to do with Christmas. Sure, the title gives you that impression, but it’s really just a dirty* laundry list of all the wackiness that was 2008. Third, stop reading this introduction and get to the good stuff below. Fourth, I try to use simple words for simple folk like you. Sure, this means extra effort on my part, but…wait a minute. Forget it, there will be no pandering to the masses. You get what you get, and like it. Fifth, it is not required reading at all, nor should it be confused with anything relevant and timely that could impact your life in a meaningful way. Sixth, seriously, this intro is over. Get on with it.

Hang gliding (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
Let’s get this started off with a bang. You presumably know what hang gliding is. You’ve likely heard about (or been to) Rio. You probably understand the concept of swooping over the tops of high rise hotels. You have it within you to visualize a long, graceful descent onto a white, sandy beach. You are surely capable of wrapping your head around a scene showing a short burst of sprinting with your appointed pilot and glider attached, and a brief, sudden tandem free-fall before catching air and soaring peacefully over every postcard view of Rio you’ve ever seen. Yes? Good job! I’m so proud of you!

The Game of Baseball (Worldwide)
I took in the Japanese version of baseball in Osaka with the Orix Buffaloes playing the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters (sponsored by Nippon Ham). What have they done to our beloved game? Only turned it into an enthusiastic circus of bright colors, silly mascots, and crazy slogans! Case in point, “One heartbeat, close to you”, supposedly will entice you to attend a Buffaloes game. Hmmmm…yes, I see. I also saw home games of the Toronto Blue Jays, the Philadelphia Phillies, and the Washington Nationals. And boy did my heart skip a beat when I discovered $2 Tuesdays in Toronto!

Safari (East Tsavo National Park, Kenya)
Thirty different types of animals participated in my dusty, bouncing, day-long photo shoot. And not a single one smiled. So disappointing. The closest I got to a smile was from six massive lions feasting on succulent buffalo. Oh, and a baby giraffe played coy for the camera until warming up after I offered her the cover of National Geographic. Sucker!

9:30 Club (Northwest, Washington, D.C.)
Definitely the best venue to see a concert in the city (standing room and balconies for 900), I took it upon myself to see all kinds of bands and artists while skipping between the three bars, each with different beer offerings. I witnessed Super Diamond (twice), Sara Bareilles, The Ting Tings, Cut Copy with the Pre-Sets, Hot Chip, Shiny Toy Guns, and Vampire Weekend. Although this may be the first time you’ve heard of some of these, don’t waste this rare opportunity you’ve been granted to expand your horizons. (Hint: iTunes)

Dr. Granville Moore’s (Northeast, Washington, D.C.)
Fancying itself as a Belgium gastro pub, Granville Moore’s dishes fantastic mussels and frites (as seen on the Food Network) and entertains around 60 different Belgium beers before offering them up to eager patrons. This row house turned restaurant is seemingly unfinished on the inside, with exposed dry wall, and flourishes church pews for seats. Not that anyone would notice with a face full of frites and Framboise.

Niagara Falls (Ontario, Canada)
Big and wet. You expected more?

Music
Whatever your taste in music is, remember, this is my list. So when I say that the albums from Sara Bareilles, Vampire Weekend and Coldplay are the ones you should buy (now) and listen to (again, now), then you might want to take heed. Even should you choose to ignore my expert advice, I’ll happily enjoy them without you.

Books
Yes, I read some books, but let’s not dwell on it too much. The two to buy or hold-up the local library for are: “Despite Good Intentions: Why Development Assistance to the Third World Has Failed” by Thomas W. Dichter (the title also acts as a synopsis!) and “The World Without Us” by Alan Weisman (an interesting thought experiment on what would happen to the planet if humans no longer existed – can you guess?).

Movies
Some of the best movies of the year included: “The Dark Knight” (a no-brainer), “Iron Man”, and “The Visitor”.

Food
This world is full of good food and by any means necessary, get these dishes into your salivating piehole as soon as possible! Japanese okonomiyaki (pancakes with plenty of what you like), fugu (poisonous pufferfish), Kobe beef (marbled, mouthwatering meat), Dominican mofongo (puréed plantains with pork), Khmer (Cambodian) fish amok (the name says it all), Brazilian feijoada (sizzling stew with steaming beans, pork and beef), Kenyan ugali (doughy cornmeal), Canadian poutine (frites with fromage and fancy gravy), and British cream tea (tea and scones with clotted cream and jam). Oy!

Cherry blossoms (Kyoto, Japan)
What does strolling along the meditative Philosopher’s path, exploring any of 1,800 temples, jostling through the bustling (bursting?) streets of the Gion district, cramming onto crowded buses, and meandering through countless, breathtaking Japanese gardens all have in common? In early April, you can do none of these things without a pink and white explosion of cherry blossoms (sakura) in every direction. And a vast array of sakura flavored sweets, including the cream puff that explodes pink goo onto your shirt.

Corcovado (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
Arms wide for a welcoming embrace, the Christ the Redeemer statue (120 feet high) sits atop the mountain of Corcovado, overlooking Rio and its white beaches. Considered one of the ‘new 7 wonders of the world’, the statue commands your full attention from every angle. Then, inevitably, you have to take time to be distracted by the breathtaking view. But, out of the corner of your eye, Christ is still ready to hug you.

Mt. Misen (Miyajima, Japan)
Any sorry attempt on my part to describe the majestic panorama of sights from the high temples of this island mountaintop, overlooking the red, floating torii gate (considered one of Japan’s three most scenic views) and neighboring islands; and the arduous ascent through primeval forests and fiery cherry blossoms to reach it; and the perfect warm instant noodles and crisp Kirin beer bought from the Mom and Pop café at the summit; would only pale in comparison to the real thing. Sorry to disappoint.

London, England
Over repeated trips to England without giving London its proper due, I finally decided to invest a couple of days to really take LDN in again. First lesson: Use the money you theoretically saved on that cheap hotel with a shared bathroom (60 pounds a night) on a Fuller’s London Pride beer and a greasy order of fish and chips. Then go bankrupt. Second lesson: Go see Monty Python’s Spamalot. Third lesson: Take your iPod and stroll around Hyde Park and The Serpentine lake during sunset. Fourth lesson: The village of Greenwich and the Greenwich Mean Time line is acceptable to visit in the rain.

Pub Quiz Nights (Fado Irish Pub, Washington, D.C.)
A rich winter tradition of pencil in hand, sipping from pints of frothy Guinness, nibbling on corned beef and cabbage, writing down answers to random questions, and handing them in after each round – all with the hope of out-dueling the other, lesser teams for cash money – always ended in tears as we failed to live up to our own hype. Next time…

Flight of the Conchords (Television show)
So ridiculously funny, you will surely snort milk out your nose (even if you’re not drinking any!). The title refers to a very low-rent, no gigs, two shlub band from New Zealand, who, along with their manager, get into random misadventures, and then sing about them. As you decipher the lyrics, and nod your head to the beat, keep an extra pair of underwear handy in case a laughing accident ensues.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
I’ve lived on the East Coast now for a few years and only just now made it to Philly. So to make up for lost time, we swaggered into Philly foot loose and fancy free. Philly cheese steaks, a Phillies baseball game (World Series Champs!), Broad Street, pub crawling, cheering on the Kentucky Derby while quaffing mint juleps, and a random Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination exhibit and you’ve got yourself a weekend.

Malindi, Kenya
Whether seasick while deep-sea fishing; enjoying a fine meal at the Old Man and The Sea restaurant (Hemingway did not make an appearance); staying at the quiet and cheap Cloud Nine
hotel (not in any guidebook); cooking fresh fish in banana leaves; strolling the seaweed choked beaches; or watching the resilient sailboats, made by the local boys from cast-off detritus (flip-flops for outriggers and plastic bags for sails anyone?), brave the ocean’s wind and waves; Malindi is a worthy place to unwind and pretend the world really is this small.

Temples of Angkor (Cambodia)
The Khmer empire was pretty busy between 850-1200 AD, building temples like they were going out of style. Then most of these temples were abandoned for hundreds of years and they became part of the encroaching jungle. Angkor Wat is by far the largest and most well-known, but it’s the temples of Ta Prohm and Beng Mealea that are among the most amazing. These have been allowed to stay mostly overgrown and ruined. There is a certain amount of peace and awe one feels when traversing over and around the tangled roots of giant fig strangler trees and the tumbled stones and carvings that once were grand galleries and massive buildings of ancient kings. At least it seems that way, if I do say so myself.

Blog
Can’t wait until next Christmas for another injection of insipid, indelible insights? Keep track of all the random hilarity at:
www.jeremybailey.wordpress.com

 

 

Bonus Question! (Guess correctly for a cool prize!)**

How many countries did I visit this year? (Hint: One paragraph lists them all)

* Clean version
** No, not really

Lions, and Wahoos, and Dik-Diks, Oh My!

What, you ask, can you do with a few days in Kenya? Let’s see…

Dik-Diks

Somewhere it is written (quite possibly here) that everyone should experience an African safari. Maybe get a peek or two at the big five animals. So I did. A day-long journey through the East Tsavo National Park, no less. 

Tiny Dik-Dik
Tiny Dik-Dik

I spyed with my little eyes at least one type of animal (elephant). It took my guide, Gilbert, to spot the other 30 or so types of animals. He spotted animals that were even hidden from themselves. The baby elephants, running giraffes, antelopes, zebras and the Kenyan Express (3-4 warthogs running in single file) were all well and good, but it was the tiny dik-diks that really deserves a shout out here. Repeatly calling them baby antelopes (and repeatly being corrected), these guys are midget Bambis, always in pairs. Am I allowed to call a lion’s tasty snack as cute?

Wahoos

Plunking down $350 for a half day deep-sea fishing excursion, you’d hope that the massive predator fish would practically jump out of the angry sea, straight into the boat. Not so. A fishing pole is a must.

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Fish!

Heaving and tossing against the waves, the boat soon became a hot-bed of sea-sickness for this gilligan. In between laying prone and disgorging my guts repeatly into the sea, a hefty fishing rod would be thrust by the crew into my hands and so would ensue an epic duel of man versus beast. Mostly little tuna beasts. In one long, grueling struggle, I managed to yank a great trevally from the fathomless depths of the Indian Ocean. Ugly and sharp. Another friend, who stoically pretended not to flaunt his lack of seasickness, landed a giant wahoo. So pleased was he, there are currently more photos of him with this particular wahoo, than exist of all other wahoos ever. His may have been longer, but mine had more girth. The fish, people, the fish.

Lions

A feast of kings
A feast of kings

In true nature channel form, lions are killers. This should not come as a surprise. We chanced upon a pride of six majestic beasts gorging themselves on buffalo in a grisly feast of blood and bowels. Less then 8 metres from a flighty herd of hushed and yet furiously photo snapping safari vans, I fascinated as these massive cats plunged their heads right into the belly and came out dripping red. Get too close to your sibling’s spot? Expect a severe rebuke, in the form of snarling claws and fangs. Such a spectacle is very rare, yet alone so close to the dirt roads where tourists can feel part of the action. Coming back a few hours later, all six were bloated, fly-covered and napping in the shade. One lioness got up and limped mightily, as if injured. One can only imagine the coordinated attack and subsequent battle needed to pull down 2,000 lbs of furious and terrified buffalo. Steak tartare for breakfast anyone?

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