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I crushed my December To Do List! I did 12 out of 11 things! Wait, what?

It’s 2017, so I’m bending the rules, along with hearts and minds.

Hop on board, this new year is about to get interesting! Let’s leave all the ugliness behind us.

 

Goal for December 2016: Do all 11 items on my painstakingly (for you) curated To Do List.

Result: Success! 12/11

 

December 2016 To Do List

Sip at three new (to me) breweries – Always looking to have a brew or three, see. Of course! Beer is good! I went to Odd Otter Brewing Co. (Tacoma), Populuxe Brewing and Maritime Pacific Brewing Co. (Seattle).

Take a road trip – But where to? Buckle up. Did a few short trips around Washington State; to Mt. Rainer, Seattle and Arlington/Marysville.

Attend a Seattle Seahawks game – Boom! December 24th vs. the Cardinals. And…they lost a wild and crazy game.

Experience two Oscar buzz movies in theaters – Someone has to do it. Well, I kind of did it. I saw Arrival and tried to see La La Land (but it was sold out). I saw Rogue One, which should get 3-4 noms for music and special effects. So there, I’m claiming it!

Eat a Dick’s Drive-In (Seattle) Deluxe burger – As always. Burp.

Eat or drink at four new (to me) places, like coffee shops, bars or restaurants – Keeping up on my goal from Oct/Nov on trying new things. Did it! No sweat.

Get some snow on me – What is winter without wonderful white snow? I threw a few iceballs and did a five mile snowshoeing trek in Mt. Rainer National Park.

Hike! 20 miles at least! – Walk it off. I already achieved and more the hiking goal I made this year (read: hike 250 total miles), this is gravy. Done! And done!

Get rid of some stuff – I have clothes to donate, and some other things that need to go. Unclutter. Tidy. I organized a bunch of things to get rid of. I only managed to donate a few things to the 9:30 Club’s holiday charity. Plus I chucked some stuff still at my parents house.

Watch the Washington Huskies in the College Football Playoff Game (Peach Bowl) – I won’t go to the actual game in Atlanta, but I’ll be watching. Oh yes. Go Dawgs! I watched it at The Loose Wheel in Puyallup (which was surprisingly packed out with UW fans). Did not like the result, no I did not.

Wild Card – Something that in hindsight, should have been on this list! I went to visit the Tahoma National Cemetery near Kent and Covington, where 3 of my grandparents are buried in honor of military service. Jack Parker (1921-2006), Walter Bailey (1919-2016) and Verla Bailey (1927-2013).

Bonus Wild Card – I attended my sister’s wedding at The Rustin Chapel in Tacoma!

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The snow beast has arisen!

A snow journey taken randomly…

Snowzilla 2016

Snowzilla 2016

Snowzilla 2016

A blizzard this way comes.
Snowzilla 2016

Let’s play on Day 2

Snowzilla 2016

Snowzilla 2016

Snowzilla 2016

Tread lightly.
Snowzilla 2016

Snowzilla 2016

Snowzilla 2016

Snowzilla 2016

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The snow and the cold won’t stop, so neither will I.

Here, I assault you with a monthly allotment of photos.

The power of feng shui leads the Seahawks to Super Bowl victory!

The power of feng shui leads the Seahawks to Super Bowl victory!

Where is my gold medal for the Giant Slalom?

Where is my gold medal for the Giant Slalom?

Always keep your wiener on ice.

Always keep your wiener on ice.

Thanks for the encouragement, but I usually just pee directly on the toilet seat.

Thanks for the encouragement, but I usually just pee directly on the toilet seat.

The District sleeps alone tonight.

The District sleeps alone tonight.

Because Punxsutawney Phil said we’d have six more weeks of winter, you get one extra. This one might just be…

...on a frozen lake. Is that ice cracking?

…on a frozen lake. Is that ice cracking?

Let it snow!

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Episode IV

Who did Flat Stanley meet on his whirlwind adventures?

He met orange people playing in the snow

 

He met green people on St. Patrick’s Day

 

He met blue people

 

He met Kuma, the miniature dachshund

 

He met Choko, the springer spaniel

 

He met the Guinness toucan

 

He met another Flat Stanley from Puyallup, WA

 

He met Alex and Lina, while they were getting married

 

He met people that work at World Vision

 

He met George

 

He also met President Obama

 

He met many other people, but they were wise and sage-like and did not smile for the camera.

This concludes the epic adventures of Flat Stanley.

For those of you that bought the DVD, stayed tuned for some additional ‘outtakes’. For those of you that haven’t bought the DVD, good show of will power. Stay strong!

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Episode II

As a curious tourist to the nation’s capital, Flat Stanley decided to explore the famous National Mall with its memorials, monuments and museums. He donned his special snow suit once again and set out on a trek that would take him to the far-flung corners of Washington, D.C. Please look away now, if you don’t want to experience a flat journey songs will be written about.

Flat Stanley climbs a snow bank and lo! the US Capital building is in sight.

So Close!

Whipping whimsically in the wind, Flat Stanley looks out over the Tidal Basin to the Jefferson Memorial in the distance.

Don’t let go!

Use both hands

Sadly, the blizzard broke lots of trees and branches nearby.

Scotch tape won’t help this tree

Flat Stanley walks around the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial, and discovers FDR sitting quietly, thinking. Not to miss an opportunity, Stanley jumps up on his lap for a photo-op.

I Think Therefore I Am

Stanley gives Fala, FDR’s trusty Scotty dog, a biscuit in exchange for a photo.

Nice doggie

President Lincoln’s Memorial looks out over the National Mall. The sheer size of the buildings and statues makes Stanley seem so small.

Did you get my good side?

Flat Stanley says hi to Lincoln.

Is Abe looking at me? Awkward.

Flat Stanley peeks at the White House from the safety of behind the fence. Yet he wants to jump over and find President Obama to shake hands, but too many snipers wait diligently atop the roof. Stanley doesn’ t like being shot.

No Obama in sight

Flat Stanley is pretty tired after all that being carried around. He needs a nap.

Stay tuned for more…will Flat Stanley finally meet President Obama? Will he find any friends at all in DC? Will DC be the last city he visits? All this and more on the next episode…

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Unfrozen ice turds – okay losers, just because it snowed 20 inches, doesn’t give you the right to kick snow over your dog’s business and skip away. Now that the snow is mostly melted, these chunks of wet poo are festering in the sun like bacon on a skillet. Disgusting.

Lingering regurgitation smell – whoever ralphed all over my condo building’s lobby before dying in the bushes (I presume), shame. The. smell. will. not. leave.

Skype spammers – I will hunt down the perpetrators with a vengeance and forgive them their sins. Then I will crack skulls.

Stupid Olympic ‘Events’ – the Biathlon? With its lycra suits, uphill skiing, and guns. A winning combination invented by polar bear hunters and stolen by the Russians. Curling? When you can’t afford to build a bowling alley and craft a round ball, you go play behind the shed on thin ice with sticks and stones. Snowboarding? Go back to bone-crunching into trees and face-planting into snowbanks. The world wants its medals back.

Facebook redesign – listen Facebook, everybody uses you. A lot. Stop trying to fit in and just be.

Magic Grow Creatures – Just add water! Bad impulse purchase in an attempt to relive my childhood. Slimy, gross, probably toxic, and vastly unimpressive. Now how to dispose of the other seven rubbery nuggets of vaguely safari shapes without killing whatever still lives in the Anacostia River?

Trying to be Canadian – no dice on the poutine, Good Stuff Eatery. Your burgers, tasty, but keep clear of the Olympic-themed cubes of cheese curds and gravy gruel. No one wins.

Blustery, gusty wind – you are frigid and friendless. Stop.

The Bitter End – I always fight until it. Seems I lose.

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The Adventures of Flat Stanley Episode I

Recently my niece, Alora, sent me her school project, known as Flat Stanley. The goal is for this little paper guy, colored to kindergarten taste, to see the world and for the recipient (me) to write about his exploits and take photos and all that. Seems like the wrong type of thing to expect out of me, but I sucked it up and painfully complied. Hold on for Episode I of an epic journey that surely will go down as the best two minutes of your day… 

Meet Flat Stanley

Flat Stanley arrives in Washington, D.C. Sadly, he did not receive a personal welcome from President Obama himself.

Where in the world?

Ahh, Washington, D.C.!

Flat Stanley’s first trial was to survive the vicious jaws of the dreaded Kuma monster.

Help?

Flat Stanley is food

After almost losing his head, Flat Stanley tries on a scarf to hide his scotch tape surgery.  

Oops, wrong city!

Flat Stanley tries his hand at chess. Unfortunately, he has no fingers to move the pieces.

Not a Grand Master  

Flat Stanley wonders what it’s like outside. Luckily, his host requires him to don a special protective suit. 

Snow Suit!

Relaxing

Flat Stanley hops out of his suit to make a new friend.

Meet Frosty

Stay tuned for more…will Flat Stanley learn the customs of the strange natives of Washington, D.C.? Will the Kuma monster return? Will he lose more then his head? All this and more on the next episode…

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