I am enabled. Enabled to do bad, bad things. And you are the victim (or the beneficiary).
First, I purchased a sleek new iPad 2 and have downloaded more apps than there are snowflakes on Mt. Rainer.
Second, I just received my brand new iPhone 4.
Now, all social media and networking possibilities are at my fingertips. I can pump out content like Charlie Sheen pumps out craziness. On location. Live. Every waking second of the day.
I can drop nuggets of truth at the slightest provocation. My wittily crafted missives can clog up your dozens of social networks. Instead of considered and time appropriate content delivered via my laptop, I can overpower your social media feeds with off-the-cuff, stream of consciousness, unrelenting brilliance. My every whim is your new reality. All thanks to Apple and Steve Jobs. A round of applause, please.
How do you benefit?
1) I can check-in and earn badges everywhere I go via Foursquare. Benefit: The cool restaurants and bars will show up on your ‘trending’ searches.
2) I can tweet and retweet until I’m blue in the face. Benefit: You will have access to wisdom beyond your years.
3) I can share the minutia of my day via Facebook. Benefit: Boredom will never be a problem for you.
4) I can write something once and channel it to multiple social media outlets via Hootsuite. Benefit: You can get the same content multiple times – less risk you will overlook it.
5) I can Skype on the go. Benefit: You can chat with me anytime.
6) I can start doing stuff on Google+ (beware it will be brilliant!). Benefit: Access to uncharted content.
7) I can yam away all day and night on Yammer (for work). Benefit: I am the 9th most influential yammerer, so you know what I say is impactful.
8) I can accept invitations from friends and colleagues on LinkedIn. Benefit: You will see I am also professional or something.
9) I can wistfully remember when MySpace mattered. Benefit: You too can be wistful.
10) And I can of course continue to blog until the cows come home right here on WordPress. Benefit: Life-long learning and knowledge of the world.
There are ways you could benefit even more, but let’s save it for the sequel. Now I need to tweet out the contents of my brain.