Reflections, and Other Reasons Mom Washed Out My Mouth With Soap

I’ve completed my first random monthly goal; to run, bike or hike 170 miles in March. Damn*, let’s reflect.

I managed to do a lot of miles in March. 195.85 to be precise. Success! I got sick towards the end, so I slowed down a bit and didn’t fracking* run as much.

The breakdown is:

  • Hiking = 64.5
  • Biking = 112
  • Running* = 19.35

As a bonus, I also did the following in March:

  • Dog walking (and poop* collecting) = 21 miles
  • Commuting to/from work = 13 miles (strolling)

What did I learn?

…that D.C. photographs well.

…that using the RunKeeper App is a good way to keep track of my activities. With few exceptions the GPS tracking worked well (once it had the gall to imply I was running a four-minute mile – WTF*? You on crack, RK?). Now I can look at all the stats (times, distances and routes) of my hikes, runs and bike rides for as long as I can handle it. Or until I lose my iPhone. 

…that my iPhone battery didn’t last long enough to track a 16-mile hike (I probably need to check on a portable battery option).

…that I vastly prefer most things to running. Notable exception: any type of body waxing for purposes of hair removal.

…that over the course of a month, I improved in running times.

…that jogging and hiking are good times to listen to new music.

…that 5.5 miles a day is not as easy as it seems, yet I only had three days where I did zero miles (mostly because I was sick).

…that cherry blossoms are pink and by the looks of all the driver’s faces, driving to see them is a bad idea.

…that sitting on your ass will only get you so far. And it’s not very fricking* far at all.

…that the National Mall is damn* beautiful at night. And during the day.

…that I may just keep tracking my miles in future months. And try to maintain the pace.

…that if you want to read about my April goal to give away $10 per day ($300 total) you should click here.

…that you can look at some photos below if you want.

Don't Just Sit There


Make Some Noise


A path not taken


May lead elsewhere


But you have to take one


No matter what it's made of


Or who is leading you


You will find something


Use what's around you
Go alone if necessary


But be explosive


Point to the destination


Keep it in context


And don't listen to naysayers


Be bold


And reach high



* Author’s note: All actual swear words were edited out of this post. No one wants to get their mouth washed out with soap twice.

You Can Do Anything

No. No you can’t. This motivational claptrap is completely false. Sorry to burst your bubble.

‘Some’ things may be in your wheelhouse, but let’s be honest, not many.

For example, you can’t:

Climb Mt. Everest three times in one day.

Breathe on the moon without a suit.

Survive direct contact with a solar flare.

Now you may say, ‘But I can do anything I set my mind to. I can learn, work and achieve all that I desire.’

Nope. You are wrong.

You will never write the greatest American novel.

You will never discover the cure for cancer.

You will never circumnavigate the globe in hot air balloon.

You will never star in a remake of Ben-Hur.

Wow, you say, that’s a lot of never! Please sir, what can I do?  

Can I be the next President? No.

Can I be the next Nobel Laureate? No.

Can I create the next multi-billion dollar social media site? No.

Can I win American Idol? No.

Can I discover the future energy source that replaces fossil fuels? No.

Stop asking. You’re starting to annoy me.

Doesn’t it make you mad when someone tells you what you can’t do? I just did.

You’ve been drinking the ‘can do’ ‘rah-rah’ Kool-Aid for too long. You believe in yourself way too much. It’s got to stop. You have to get a grip on reality.

I’m here to teach you exactly what you can do. Exactly what you’re capable of.

Napping. You have your hammock. What else do you need?

Procrastination. Yes! In the bag.

Whining. Absofreakinglutely! You are the best at that.

Blaming others. If they gave a Nobel prize for this, you’d win every year.

Not asking the tough questions. Why bother when it will all go away after a few minutes, right?

Not trying. Not even Yoda could get you to change.

Being self-absorbed. Are you paying attention?

Thanks for attending my life coaching class. Please write a check for $35.95 or have cash ready as you leave.

No fooling around, try to enjoy your April 1st.