Archive for March, 2016

Tuesday. Off to the office.
My brain is functioning like this today.
  1. Over My Head – Fleetwood Mac
  2. Dirty Work – Steely Dan
  3. Beast of Burden – The Rolling Stones
  4. King of Pain – The Police
  5. Wasted Time – The Eagles
  6. Shock the Monkey – Peter Gabriel
  7. Go With The Flow – Queens of the Stone Age
  8. Over the Hills and Far Away – Led Zeppelin
  9. Home – Joe Satriani
  10. South City Midnight Lady – The Doobie Brothers


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Having a daily routine keeps us regular. It allows us to function during the day.

The proverbial three S’s of any guy’s morning ‘the sh$t, shave and a shower’ keeps us refreshed and ready for whatever the day wants to throw at us.

Failing to accomplish any of these three feats, we become vulnerable.


Three S Routine

Sh$tting: Failing to contemplate life in the morning, or read the New Yorker (for the articles), while perched on the porcelain throne, is a devastating blow to our bowels. We haven’t fully clinched the morning, nor knocked out our daily plan of action.

Shaving: If we don’t shave, we look unkempt. Unprepared, as if we just woke up. Even if you do want a luxurious beard, close-cropped stubble, or you are Tom Selleck, we still take time to trim it or maintain it.

Showering: Failing to shower means we stink. More than usual.


Now some people may add additional elements to their morning routine, some of which I shall address with finesse here:

Coffee: Yes. Now. It could even be part of the three S’s, but there’s no S in it.

Tea: No. It’s only for High Tea at 4pm. And it must come with a scone.

Breakfast: Okay. I don’t normally eat breakfast, but I love it when I have it. Speaking of which, I should change my ways.

Brushing of the Teeth: Do it. 4 out of 5 dentists agree.

Exercise: Forget it. You could literally be sleeping instead. Seriously, stay in bed.

Road Rage: Conditional. If you have to commute to work, you’re basically screwed. So get mad about it, by all means.

Reading of the Newspaper: Okay. But you can kill two birds with one stone by accomplishing this while sh$tting.

Meditation: No. Extra sleep is good enough.

Sleeping in: I just found my fourth ‘S’. Zzzzzzzz.

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