Most of the words in our workplace are boring. So we borrow, reuse and invent new ones to amuse ourselves.
We try to make our work sound more important than it really is. All we end up with is obfuscation.
Co-creation – You create something by yourself. You writers and painters and developers and creative people. Then you get feedback and input that either dumbs it down or turns it into something no longer interesting. Co-creation = obfuscation. Don’t be a co-creationist.
Passion – The meaning is clear. Use only for it’s intended purpose. ‘She’s passionate about Twitter.’ Meh. ‘His passion for taking selfies is unmatched.’ No way. ‘He has a passion for writing.’ Better. ‘The young lover’s fiery, unquenchable passion for each other was palpable.’ Good. Also, sorry for injecting this post with YA romance.
Go pear-shaped – The shape of a pear is natural. Something you screwed up? Also natural. And typical you. Just don’t blame the pear.
World-class – The biggest humble brag any organization can say about itself. And many do. Classy.
Farm-to-table – As opposed to ‘Hydroponics room-to-table’? ‘Test tube-to-table’? I hope you washed the pears before you put them on my table.
Curate – As in curate content for social media. Sounds exciting. It’s not. Curating paintings and artifacts for a museum? Somewhat exciting. Curating lost treasure from the bottomless fathoms of the sea? Damn exciting.
Landscaping – If your garden or lawn needs work, landscape it. If your work needs review and analysis, tend to it.
Manscaping – Visualize the implications of this word. You are welcome.
Adorbs – No. If you are too lazy to write actual words like ‘adorable’, please stop writing. Thx! Xs & Os!
To ballpark (something) – Use ‘estimate’ already! You play the great game of baseball in a ballpark. Don’t sully this word.
Game changer – Anything you call a ‘game changer’ is an exaggeration. The games have already been changed. Just start playing. Start with baseball.
Future proof – The future is immune to your proofing. Even futurists get it wrong. I predict.
Pain points – My pain point is that I have to write these world-class, game changing lists. I ballpark that I can curate a few more. The English language is ever ripe for abuse. And I am passionate about landscaping the pear-shapedness of how obfuscated this co-creationism has become.
You are adorbs!