Lifehack – Ugh! Just repeat after me: ‘I will do better. I will be better’. You are not a hacker. You are not a computer. Or are you? Calculating…
A picture is worth a thousand words – What could be wrong with this? It’s not accurate, that’s what. Anyone and everyone can take a thousand pictures a minute. Trust me, 99% of those are not worth two words. A picture with the right mix of words is best to tell a story. But! I would rather read a brilliant novel over perusing a coffee table book of brilliant photos. I like the words. It doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy both, just that I prefer to read. And yes, even a thousand words at a time. (Pro tip: This post is only 406 words. And one photo worth 594 words.)
Can’t have your cake and eat it too – If I have cake, I’m going to eat it. Dumbest phrase ever.
Open the kimono – Unless you’re a geisha entertaining in Kyoto, please keep your kimono in toto! I don’t want to see it.
Pipeline – Are you drilling for oil? Are you building a sewer system? No, you are not. Put not using this word in your pipe and smoke it.
Maturing – As long as you are a bank loan or a young person, this is your word. If you are describing a process, like ‘maturing the roadmap’, this is not your word.
Roadmap – When I’m driving in a car, this is a beautiful thing. When you’re describing ‘next steps’ or a ‘business plan’, be warned. I’m in a car, heading right for you. Fast.
No offense, but… – Okay, I get it. You want to insult me without the consequence of guilt. Very mature.
Justin Bieber – No offense, but I trust this will be the last time his name appears on the interwebs.
Ninja move – IF you are a ninja, you are awesome. Everyone else, your moves do not compare. Including Mick Jagger.
Engagement – A catch-all word for activities we can’t be bothered to describe.
‘Engage’ her. = Talk at her.
‘Engage’ them. = Pretend to get their opinion.
‘Engage’ our stakeholders. = Send them an email they won’t read.
‘Engagement’ strategy = Just a communications plan.
‘Engagement’ tools = Just a website.
‘Engage!’ = Go to warp speed! (Jean Luc Picard’s catchphrase and the best use of the term.)
Fundraising revenue generation goal achievement – Words have never said less. Top that and you get cake.
My grandiose goal for March is to learn how to use Twitter better and tweet more often.
March Goal: Post 186 tweets
There are three Twitter accounts I manage and contribute to.
A flurry of two tweets a day for any single account is plenty.
My math formula unleashed:
This is no small feat, since historically my tweeting prowess is suspect. For example, I’ve been dropping 140 character slander snippets on my personal account for three years. On average, I post 1/2 a tweet a day! Hardly inspiring.
I’m making a play for a 300% increase! Not even Frank Underwood* would have the acute acumen to attempt aforesaid action!
@ARandomJourney – This is my personal Twitter handle, which I use as an extension of this blog to promote the various posts. I also share random thoughts and links. All opinions are mine, unless you disagree with them. Then they are 300% more mine.
@UW_DCDawgs – A new Twitter handle for the DC Chapter of the University of Washington Alumni Association, affectionately known as DC Dawgs (the UWAA likes us to say DC Huskies…). We started it to promote the various activities we organize and the sports teams we participate in. Go Dawgs!
@ProgEffective – I use this for work, to promote various documents, tools and ideas that would be useful to staff and other people interested. The name ProgEffective is short for Programme Effectiveness, which is the area I work in. This may sound exciting and all, but next time I’ll pick an easier on the eye handle.