Manila. You are one frustrating bastard.
I recently visited Manila for the third time. Only this time I went with a positive attitude. Looking for anything worth doing in the city. I was there either way, so why not?
My standard description of Manila, is that it looks like it was built 50 years ago, and then mostly allowed to slowly break-down and crumble. There are a few bright spots of new development here and there. I haven’t visited every part of the city, but from what I’ve seen thus far, it hasn’t grown on me.
If you go to the Philippines, go everywhere but Manila.
Let’s run through some keen observations.
Commuting/Getting Around
- The elevator situation at my hotel was remarkably nonfunctional. They had even opened the service elevators to guests. Most days the commute from my room to our meeting room (floor 27 to 4) was longer than my commute in to the office in DC. The most fun was a cathartic 12-minute wait-athon, punctuated by a dose of cleverly parlayed verbal abuse at the unyielding elevator door.
- Traffic is shit. No, it is the perfect storm of terrible. No, it is terrible shit.
- Driving in actual lanes does not exist. Cutting slower cars off and not giving two shits* about other drivers is the norm. If you are prone to road rage, your head will explode in Manila.
- Uber can’t find me.
- Uber can’t find the place I want to go.
- The interest in pedestrians borders on malfeasance. The sidewalks, where they exist, are sketchy or so narrow that walking on the street is the only option. Urban planning did not touch this city with a 10-foot pole. And step lively or you may get sprayed by the random dudes using the sidewalk as a urinal.
- Don’t grab a map and think you can navigate from Point A to Point B. Not a chance. You will need to detour to Points Z, Y and probably Pluto in between. If the way through isn’t blocked by design, it is under construction. Or it doesn’t exist.
- Don’t try to jog here.
- Terminal 1 of Ninoy Aquino International Airport is a soul sucking, festering wound on society. It has the highest level of clusterf*@kedness attainable. Its literal only redeeming quality is that there is a Starbucks. If you have a choice, go to the newer and fairly decent Terminal 3.
Other stuff
- Balls. Home of the biggest sporting events in the world.
What could be a better name for a TV channel? Yet, the only sporting event I saw on it was women’s volleyball… - At a restaurant, the band could not sing Toto’s ‘Africa’ worth a damn. It was painful. But then they dropped a pitch perfect rendition of ‘Just the Way You Are’. I thought Billy was in the house.
- All the fast food restaurants are open 24 hours. And loads of people are out late/early on school nights. Consuming McDonald’s and Jollibee’s. There are also still Shakey’s here!
- Malls. The national pastime.
Stay classy Manila!
* Number of times I used the word ‘shit’ in this post (if you count these two additional instances of shit) = 5
A Random Journey 