La La Lions from Hell, and Other Hidden Fences by the Sea

(Update: I got 7 of 11 correct!)

I relentlessly present with you my 8th annual Oscar predictions!

As always, I suck at this so if you copy me in any way, shape or form, you will do no better than the average monkey. Average monkeys are smart on occasion, especially in how they acquire and fling feces, so don’t fret too much.

For evidence of my suckage, see my results over the last 3 years:

• 2016: 4 (correct)/11
• 2015: 8/11
• 2014: 10/11

I only predict 11 categories (of the 24 total), or what I consider the major categories.

So coming on February 26th, we have the 89th Annual Academy Awards!

You’ll be pleased to learn, I’ve seen all 88 of the previous Best Picture winners…so might as well make my way through this year’s nominees.

So far, I’ve seen 5 of 9.

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Best Picture – Up for 14 nominations (tied for most all-time with Titanic and All About Eve), it’s not a stretch to say La La Land is the favorite. Plus it’s filthy with music and dancing and hope and heartbreak.

• Arrival
• Fences
• Hacksaw Ridge
• Hell or High Water
• Hidden Figures
• La La Land (My pick)
• Lion
• Manchester by the Sea
• Moonlight (Winner)

Best Actress in a Leading Role – Emma wins for Zombieland!…err…well, in the same setting she wins for singing and dancing in LA.

• Isabelle Huppert, Elle
• Ruth Negga, Loving
• Natalie Portman, Jackie
• Emma Stone, La La Land (My pick) (Winner)
• Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins

Best Actor in a Leading Role – Sorry Casey, I think Denzel gets his second win.

• Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea (Winner)
• Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge
• Ryan Gosling, La La Land
• Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic
• Denzel Washington, Fences (My pick)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role – Don’t fence her in, Viola is going for the win.

• Viola Davis, Fences (My pick) (Winner)
• Naomie Harris, Moonlight
• Nicole Kidman, Lion
• Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures
• Michelle Williams, Manchester by the Sea

Best Actor in a Supporting Role – Got an inkling a Texas Ranger won’t win, but would like to see Jeff win this year. But Mahershala is on his way.

• Mahershala Ali, Moonlight (My pick) (Winner)
• Jeff Bridges, Hell or High Water
• Lucas Hedges, Manchester by the Sea
• Dev Patel, Lion
• Michael Shannon, Nocturnal Animals

Best Director – It could be another year where the Director and Best Picture winners differ, I just don’t see it though.

• Denis Villeneuve, Arrival
• Mel Gibson, Hacksaw Ridge
• La La Land, Damien Chazelle (My pick) (Winner)
• Kenneth Lonergan, Manchester by the Sea
• Barry Jenkins, Moonlight

Adapted Screenplay – Let’s spread the love around, eh Academy?

• Arrival
• Fences
• Hidden Figures
• Lion
• Moonlight (My pick) (Winner)

Original Screenplay – Continuing to spread the love, oops, probably not.

• Hell or High Water
• La La Land (My pick)
• The Lobster
• Manchester by the Sea (Winner)
• 20th Century Women

Best Animated Feature Film – Pixar got shut out (sorry Finding Dory, you weren’t that good), so their domination ends with a Turtle.

• Kubo and the Two Strings
• Moana
• My Life a a Zucchini
• The Red Turtle (My pick)
• Zootopia (Winner)

Cinematography – Oh boy, what will I pick?

• Arrival
• La La Land (My pick) (Winner)
• Lion
• Moonlight
• Silence

Best Foreign Language Film – Just like Asghar Farhadi won in 2012 for A Separation, he will win again.

• Land of Mine
• A Man Called Ove
• The Salesman (My pick) (Winner)
• Tanna
• Toni Erdmann

Boom!

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