Words To Never Use: Expert Strength Edition

From strength to strength – I assume this means to turn something robust into something fractionally more robust? Robuster.

Astonishing – There are astonishingly few reasons to use this word. Think about it. Are you not astonished at how amazing my observations are?

New normal – I prefer ‘old abnormal’. In that, everything old is new again. Hmmm… I hope this blurb isn’t indicative of how things turn out.

Touch base – Unless you’re trying to get to 2nd base on the 1st date, avoid the literal use of this term. Oh and hey girl, how you doing?

Agile – When you use this in the context of describing a large organization, I suggest you reevaluate your understanding of how a large organization works. What’s the opposite of agile? Lumbering? Glacial?

Slacktivism – Please like this post on Facebook to save the whales.  Or whatever.

Manspreading – Seriously, the boys need to breathe. However, no one needs to talk about it, so stop spreading the news.

Selfie stick – Banned from the Smithsonian! Excellent. Even more reason to like museums.

Burning platform – Is it for motivating people to jump higher in a crisis, or just an agile metaphor on the new normal? I’ll touch base with you when I find out. (P.S. I won’t.)

Cascading – This could be my favorite word. Ever. Cascading communication to staff via line management is the most efficient means to reach everyone. It moves from strength to strength, is burning, unslackerish and is both the new and the old normal. Now allow me introduce you to a cool word, ‘sarcasm’, and then bid you adieu.

Al desko – This means eating lunch at your desk. I’ll give whomever coined this phrase points for trying, but if I hear anyone using it, I’ll cascade a few slaps to your bases (I mean, faces).

I am not an expert but… – No kidding. But I did sleep at a Holiday Inn last night, so everything I’ve written here can only be construed as pure gold.

Enjoy previous posts in the seriously world-class and impactful ‘Words To Never Use’ series. Patent not pending. All rights reserved, except if drinking a pint. Please consult your neighborhood pub before maturing your pain points.


One thought on “Words To Never Use: Expert Strength Edition

  1. Pingback: The Fantastically Furious Summer Movie Guide and Other Titillations | A Random Journey

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